January 2012
2 posts
What is it about nature that is so terrifying to the modern mind? Why is it so intolerable? Because nature is fundamentally indifferent. It’s unforgiving, uninterested. If you live or die, succeed or fail, feel pleasure or pain, it doesn’t care. That’s intolerable to us. How can we live in a world so indifferent to us. So we redefine nature. We call it Mother Nature when...
My old posts make me embarrassed beyond belief. I can’t believe I used to think like that.
I am sober now, except for the occasional drinking now and again. I’m single, thank fucking god. I couldn’t stand another day with that child-like cunt.
I’m just having more fun.
December 2011
1 post
1 tag
Resolutions
Eat healthier, drink more water.
Get to 110 pounds.
Dress better. No more slacking.
Have a barbecue. Wolfpack + townies only.
Have themed parties once a month.
Have a healthy relationship.
Get a job.
Hang out with at least 4 new people.
Go to a rave.
Buy a flip cam and record!
November 2011
3 posts
Record (via video) more often
Write here more often
Buy a carton of Marlboro Special Blend Gold 100s
Stop pretending
I have not written on this in a long time. Ever since my insanely long, insanely insane post on my thoughts back earlier this year.
Things have gotten better, if anything. I’m drunker now, which I’ve been planning on doing since 9th grade. Ethen’s my boyfriend now. Danielle’s stopped drinking and has since stopped hanging out with me for no reason at all. Lizzy is stepping...
July 2011
2 posts
I’ve been saying it a great deal lately, I realized, but to the people in my life. And for all the sorrying I have sorried since I knew I had a free mind, I have done nothing, I’m afraid to earn my way out of this Hell, if such a thing is possible, and his voice, “you’d be perfectly happy if you were the only person in the world” and maybe my sin is as simple and basic as that, maybe taking that...
June 2011
3 posts
My life:
To the green
Smoke bogies
Throw down
Hobo hideout
Smoke up
Drink up
Home
Everyday. It’s getting monotonous. Boring. But just a little bit. I still like it, it’s still fun, but I feel like something new has to happen or somebody new needs to be introduced or we need to do something out of the ordinary at least once. All together though.
Meh, I feel like becoming friends with Angeline and Ethen was a good thing, yet a bad thing all the same. Like, I’m doing crazy shit and I’m out of the house 99% of the day, but I’ve lost my importance, I think. Like, the wolf pack wouldn’t hang out as a group without me around. It just would’ve been weird. But Danielle, Ethen, and Ang will all hang out without me and...
You know what really bugs me? When people make fun of Danielle and I for being virgins at 16. That’s fucking ridiculous. I had the chance to lose it at 13, and you know what, I actually should’ve considering the amount of shit I get for it. And how I feel like some inferior, inexperienced little kid compared to everyone else. Angeline lost her virginity at 12, Ethen at 13, and most...
May 2011
2 posts
How could you find Danielle more attractive than me? sdfjsfkf
FUCKING HOW
HOW
Piercings
1. Tongue
A. Silver B. Black C. Pink D. Swirled
2. Industrial
A. White
3. Bridge
A. Silver
4. Guages
A. Goal is to be 7/8
5. Nose
A. Stud B. Hoop
6. Septum
A. Black B. Silver
7. Angel Bites
A. Studs
March 2011
4 posts
My dog is wimpering in her sleep
It’s the cutest/saddest thing ever.
I wonder what she’s dreaming about.
I've never gotten as much shit before until I said...
It’s fucking ridiculous. I’m getting:
You go, I’m cutting you off.
If you go, how will I know you’re going to be motivated to stay in college?
How do I know you’re not going to become a groupie?
etc.etc. all from my parents. They don’t get that I’m paying for it all myself, that I expect nothing from them out of it, etc. They’re just a bunch of...
Also
Sometimes I’ll just be sitting there and looking at pictures of Motionless in White and shit, and really want to just stay with the way I’m dressing, and if not become a bit darker in the way I dress. Then, I’ll watch an episode of Skins and see Mini and instantly want to dress like her.
I’m easily swayed and it sucks, but I’ll deal with it. In the meantime,...
Bleh
I can’t decide what style I want to be. I don’t know whether I want to dress like Mini, which I do so bad, or if I wanna go the ~scene~ path, but not even really scene. Just better/cooler band merch and shit. I wanna go both ways but
I don’t have all the money to buy clothes for both styles
If I bought the alternative clothes and the Mini type clothes, I’d never wear the...