You know what really bugs me? When people make fun of Danielle and I for being virgins at 16. That’s fucking ridiculous. I had the chance to lose it at 13, and you know what, I actually should’ve considering the amount of shit I get for it. And how I feel like some inferior, inexperienced little kid compared to everyone else. Angeline lost her virginity at 12, Ethen at 13, and most around then also. We’ve all had choices once or twice, but just didn’t take it.

The thing is though, I feel like I could lose it, but just I don’t push it hard enough. Either that, or I’m just kinda afraid. Which is true. I just don’t want to be awkward, I want to be skinnier so I don’t look fat while doing it, and all that kind of shit. But I also feel like I’m not around people who would, or I might be, but they feel like it’d be too awkward or just that I’m not into that kind of stuff or something. I might be giving out the wrong vibes or something. I don’t want to be, but I guess I am.

Which fucking sucks, because I don’t want to be a 17 yr. old virgin. That’s too old to be a virgin. And I don’t want Danielle to lose hers before mine. That’s just embaressing. Then again, Danielle is more out there with herself. Idk, she’s like a little more slutty, but then again, she is way more desperate. I bet I could fuck Bryce too, I just don’t want to. I especially don’t want to lose my virginity to someone who would tell my friends what it was like and what I look like and stuff. It’s just weird.